The Key to Better Relationships? Purpose

Today, I am back with the fourth and final post in our series on one of my favorite topics: purpose. We all have different relationships with the idea of purpose. Sometimes, folks are intimidated by the concept because it can require looking at ourselves in ways that are uncomfortable, unpacking limiting beliefs, and ultimately making changes to our lives or work. Other times, people are put off by the idea of purpose because they fear it will have the opposite effect.  Instead of forcing change, they fear their purpose will become a signature style that ties them into one “look” for the rest of their natural lives, kind of like Anna Wintour's bob. And still others feel that purpose is just another buzzword that will keep them broke and pursuing unrealistic dreams.

Despite these concerns, I believe purpose is worth pursuing because it provides direction.  As I wrote in week one of our series, it's hard to know what to do if you don't know why you're doing it.  In other words, when you graduate from university, yes, you will most likely need to get a job to pay your bills, but what are you working towards in the long run that can guide your decision about what position to take in the short term?  Have a passion for fashion?  Then yes, maybe retail is a great way to go.  Far from being a lover of the great outdoors? Definitely skip the camp counselor application.

Understanding Our Purpose

In addition to providing guidance, understanding our purpose is also a powerful pathway to self-acceptance. Once we know what we are created for, it becomes less important to meet other people's standards of success, beauty, or achievement. Instead, we're able to focus on our calling, goals, and objectives.  We'll be so busy pursuing those, that we won't have time to look at the Joneses, let alone worry about keeping up with them.

Similarly, when we're committed to supporting others as they find and live out their purpose, it becomes a lot easier to accept them fully for who they are and for who they are not. Often, our frustration with the people in our lives comes from unmet expectations and real talk; sometimes, those expectations aren't based on anything but what we thought someone else should be or do for or with us. When we understand and respect other people's purpose, we can relate to them in helpful and mutually beneficial ways, without the angst.

Interested in exploring purpose in a community of phenomenal women of color? Consider Accelerate, my course for women. Class starts this Sunday, October 27th. If you'd like to find out if Accelerate is a good fit for you, comment and let me know!