To the Grads (and the Grown Folks) Figuring It Out

It's graduation season, so this edition of our Ask Me Anything series is dedicated to my nieces, Akweley and Akuokor, the family's newest high school graduates. Seeing them in their regalia reminded me of this time last year, when, after attending Church, my mother handed me an envelope, saying I would never guess what was inside. 

Sadly, it wasn't a winning lottery ticket or a love letter from Idris Elba as I had hoped. It was my high school graduation announcement, and the picture of 17-year-old Obenewa that was distributed with it. A fellow congregant, with whom my mother has attended Church for decades, found it during spring cleaning and shared it with her.

That picture took me back to the summer between high school and university and reminded me of three things I learned then, lessons that continue to serve me well today, and that may be helpful to you and the recent grads in your life.

Passion

My first big lesson was to follow my passion. I remember being stumped (and feeling somewhat embarrassed) every time someone asked me what I was going to study. Years later, “What should I study?” remains the number one question students ask me.

Truthfully, it doesn't matter. Unless you're undertaking an advanced degree for a career like law, medicine, or policy-making, where you need specific skills and qualifications, don't stress. Study what you love and what you're curious about. Interested in economics? Pop into Econ 101 and see what happens. Love art, take some classes. Observe the patterns, see what you're passionate about and what you have a talent for, then pick your major and focus on building your skills in that arena. This principle applies later in life to your career as well. The skills you build while doing what you love will most likely be transferable and will support your career goals later in life. Just ask your favorite coach, who, for what it's worth, has two degrees in international relations.

Perfectionism

The second lesson: Let go of perfectionism. Contrary to widespread opinion, at no point in our lives are we supposed to have all of the answers. Instead, life is about the exploration. It's through experimentation (aka mistakes) that we learn what is and isn't for us. As we gain more life experience, and if we're thoughtful and intentional about learning from it, there will be more things about which, to quote Oprah, we can say, “This I know for sure.” But we can only get there by releasing perfectionism and embracing each lesson as it comes.

People

And finally, people. Be wise and discerning about the people in your life. Research shows that we are an aggregate of the five people we spend the most time with. So, decide who you want to grow into, what values, habits, and attitudes you want to cultivate, and build a community with like-minded individuals. This is not to say you judge others or ensconce yourself in a comfortable echo chamber; rather, be intentional about the relationships you're building and make sure they are mutually beneficial ones that help each of you become the best versions of yourself—and that you have a fabulous time in the process.

P.S. If you'd like some support figuring out your passion and how to pursue it, it's never too late:) Consider coaching, book a discovery call today.