5 Perspectives To Move You Forward
These are some of the perspectives that I needed to reframe my thinking and shut down a pity party, because frankly, wallowing has never moved anyone closer to their goals. 🤷🏾♀️
What triggered this pity party, you ask? Chrissy Teigen's Instagram.
For the record, I (and her other 34.8 million other followers) love Chrissy Teigen! When she's not making mogul moves with her family by her side, she spends a lot of time in her bathrobe eating. So basically, on weekends, I am her.
On Sunday, I noticed that Chrissy had posted a couple of reels and videos that were cute, funny, and sleek, advertising her business. For ages, I have thought, "I need to learn how to post cute, funny, and sleek videos to advertise my business," and for ages, I have failed.
When I saw Chrissy's videos, I made the deadly mistake of comparing myself to her. Not only did comparing myself have me feeling bad about my failed attempts, the comparison had me feeling bad about myself as a person. The convo in my head quickly went from I suck at this to I suck.
Fortunately, good sense kicked in, and I asked why I was comparing myself to Chrissy Teigen. I am not a multimillionaire (yet!) celebrity with a full-fledged media department. I am a small business owner with a micro—but brilliant—team of associates, learning every day. So while I should watch the videos, enjoy the videos, and be inspired by the videos, I shouldn't compare myself to their creator because we're each on our own unique journey.
And while it may seem ridiculous that I was comparing myself to a celebrity on Insta, the truth is comparison is something we do often. How do I know? I see it every day in my coaching practice.
Real talk, how often do you look at someone in real life or online and think:
"I wish I could speak like her."
"I wish I could lead like her."
"I wish I looked like her."
"I wish my house was as neat as hers."
“I wish I made as much money as she does.”
“I wish my relationship was like hers.”
The list goes on and on and on. Because too often, we take admiration for someone else's skills, talents, and success past the point of appreciation to comparison. And as Iyanla Vanzant points out, "comparison is an act of violence against the self."
Iyanla Vanzant
Source: The Undefeated
So what do we do when we realize we're committing acts of violence against ourselves? 🤔
We reframe the conversation to one that acknowledges our aspirations, honors our efforts, and respects our journey.
Practically, for me, this looks like replacing:
“I can't do it” with “I'm still learning”
“I'll never” with “I haven't yet”
“I don't have time” with “it's not a priority”
“I wish I had more” with “I'm so grateful”
“No one likes it” with “It's not for everyone”
These are some of the perspectives that help me when I need to reframe my thinking and shut down a pity party, because frankly, wallowing has never moved anyone closer to their goals 🤷🏾♀️
I’d love to know, what are some of the ways you deal with comparison? Please subscribe to my mailing list and share.
In the meantime, are you following me on Insta 👀? If not, whatcha waitin' for?